Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Definition: Irrichat

The grating sound created by people who talk during movies, speeches, and presentations.

Definition: Annoyring

The sound made by the cell phones of people who haven't yet figured out how to activate the vibrate mode.

Monday, September 22, 2008

If Monday were an animal

If Monday were an animal, it would be a dog staked to a short chain in the yard. Trapped and unable to do anything interesting, it growls at life.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

If dogs were animals

If dogs were animals, they would be . . . dogs. Some things in this crazy, mixed-up multiverse make sense. 

Friday, September 12, 2008

If happiness was an animal

If happiness was an animal, you would need to keep it hidden somewhere safe and out of sight. Otherwise, some mean bastard would shoot it just for fun.

If bureaucracy were an animal

If bureaucracy were an animal, it would look something like the armadillo, with tiny little eyes that can only see close-up details and a hard outer shell to maintain the illusion of being isolated from the rest of existence.

If boredom were an animal

If boredom were an animal, it would have eyes in the back. Boredom can only focus on things that have already been done, and it spends its miserable life drearily re-doing instead of doing.

Party mythology regarding government spending

Who spends more? Democrats or Republicans? Read "The Politics of Presidential Spending"
by R.W. Bradford to discover the truth:

My voting record: In order, I have voted for Carter (once), Reagan (twice), George H Bush (twice), Clinton (twice, I think, but I may have voted for Bob Dole once--I can't remember); and anybody other than George W Bush.